Do children have rights? Absolutely. Children have a fundamental right to be known and loved by the two people who made them: their mother and father. It’s a right that’s recognised worldwide.
Children are not items to be cut and pasted into just any romantic adult arrangement. Rather, children are vulnerable individuals who deserve to have their inherent rights respected and protected by the only people in society powerful enough to do so – adults. So much of a child’s successful launch into adulthood depends on whether or not the foundational right to both of their parents is respected. That requires that adults order their lives around the rights of children.
CHILDREN CANNOT BE VIEWED AS COMMODITIES
Redefining marriage in law redefines families because the right to marry is a compound right which includes the right to form a family.
You might argue that same-sex couples already have children by adoption or surrogacy and nothing is going to change with same-sex “marriage”. That is not correct. A number of states prohibit same-sex couples from adopting or creating a child by surrogacy, but a federal law for same-sex “marriage” would overrule state prohibitions on same-sex parenting. As the debate on SSM forces us to choose between giving priority to children’s rights or homosexual adults’ claims, society is faced with an inescapable choice.
Yes, gay couples can already adopt children in states where it’s legal, but opening the door to SSM will increasingly normalise and facilitate widespread adoption/surrogacy of children where there is a real issue of them being commodified in a retail “catalogue” environment. Surrogacy has been banned in 20+ countries as a result of women and children being exploited and children turned into commodities.
Same-sex marriage activists are pushing for Australia’s ban on commercial surrogacy to be lifted, and their lobbying has reached the ears of the Australian Human Rights Commission (AHRC). In a 2015 report, the AHRC canvassed the need to legalise commercial surrogacy so two men can enjoy full “marriage equality”.
Gay designers Dolce & Gabbana made a excellent point when they said,
“You are born and you have a mother and a father. Or at least it should be so, that’s why I’m skeptical about what I call the sons of the chemistry, synthetic children, wombs for rent, seeds chosen by a catalog. And then, let’s go to these children and explain them who is their mother. Would you ever accept to be a daughter of the chemistry? Procreation needs to be an act of love.”
Gay comedian Josh Thomas made this revealing comment on his Facebook page, “I don’t need to be married to have a baby. All I need is access to a uterus, and there are literally billions of them.”
A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father's absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn't matter. That it's all the same. But it's not.
the injustice of intentionally severing the relationship of a child to his/her mother or father
Children are not commodities that can be justifiably severed from their natural parentage and traded between unrelated adults. Children in same-sex households will often deny their grief and pretend they don’t miss a biological parent, feeling pressured to speak positively due to the politics surrounding LGBT households. However, when children lose either of their biological parents because of death, divorce, adoption, or artificial reproductive technology, they experience a painful void. It is the same when a gay parent brings his or her same-sex partner into the family home. Their partner(s) can never replace the child’s missing biological parent. The fundamental rights of children to have the chance of having a mum and dad, must always come before adult desires, and the current definition of marriage upholds that the man-woman model as critically central and beneficial to society in the raising of children.
Kids raised in same-sex families almost always end up wanting to know the whereabouts of their biological missing parent. Even Elton John once said, “It will break my son’s heart to realise he hasn’t got a mother.”
Have you ever seen the show “Find My Family”? Did you notice that every single one of the people who were tracking down their lost biological Mother or Father on the show talked about their natural intrinsic desire to be reunited with them? Please watch the video (see right) of Matt’s story on Find My Family (5min). He speaks of his anguish growing up not having a dad. He says, “[Mum] might not have wanted him around, but I did.” It should not surprise us, as we have been wired to yearn for our biological parentage.
Children do not care about political correctness. If they had the choice to choose between a loving mum and dad or loving parents of the same sex, they would choose a mum and dad every time, because they want what’s natural and normal. They especially loathe the idea of being denied a mum and dad for the sake of being a political statement (although there are many same-sex parents who have the best of intentions).
Gay men, no matter how much they love their children, can never be a mother to their children. Lesbian women, no matter how much they love their children, can never be a father to their children.
Heather Barwick, who was raised by a lesbian couple says the following: “…it’s only now, as I watch my children loving and being loved by their father each day, that I can see the beauty and wisdom in traditional marriage and parenting.”
“Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn’t matter. That it’s all the same. But it’s not. A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father’s absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom’s partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.”
She continues, “I grew up surrounded by women who said they didn’t need or want a man. Yet, as a little girl, I so desperately wanted a daddy. It is a strange and confusing thing to walk around with this deep-down unquenchable ache for a father, for a man, in a community that says that men are unnecessary. There were times I felt so angry with my dad for not being there for me, and then times I felt angry with myself for even wanting a father to begin with. There are parts of me that still grieve over that loss today.”
Melbourne woman, Millie Fontana (see her speech on right – 12min) was raised by two lesbians and said, “We cannot say yes to homosexual marriage without invalidating a child’s right to both genders.”
Children’s rights campaigner Katy Faust, who was also raised by two lesbians, was interviewed by Lateline’s Tony Jones (see video on left). Katy says, “Children have a right to be in relationship with their mother and father whenever possible, and as a society, we shouldn’t normalise a family structure that requires children to lose one or both parents to be in that household.”
In some scenarios children have unfortunately been severed from either one or both of their biological parents through unforeseen circumstances which happen through no fault of their own. This is utterly tragic. However, same-sex couples acquiring children deliberately does this. Can you see the difference?
As a civilised society, we need to do everything within our power to ensure that children are given the best possible chance for them to have access to their biological parents. Deliberately cutting off children from either one of their biological parents should be viewed just as negatively as children being cut off via unfortunate circumstances.
Consider what 11yr old Grace Evans said to the Minnesota legislature in March 2013 (see video right), ”Since every child needs a mom and dad to be born, I don’t think we can change that children need a mom and a dad . . . I want to ask you this question: Which parent do I not need — my mom or my dad?”
There's all this talk about equality for women, for gay people, for everybody, but where's the equality for children when it comes to this? I am in a position to explain to you the kind of damage it does to a child.
Over fifty adult children who were raised by LGBT parents have communicated with me and share my concerns about same-sex marriage and parenting. Many of us struggle with our own sexuality and sense of gender because of the influences in our household environments growing up.
Our cultural narrative becomes one that tells children they have no right to the natural family structure of their biological parents, but that children exist for the satisfaction of adult desires.
I experienced a great deal of sexual confusion. I had an inexplicable compulsion to have sex with older males . . . and wanted to have sex with older men who were my [missing] father's age, thought at the time I could scarcely understand what I was doing.
Experts and scientific studies confirm that kids do best with a mum and dad
There is no dispute in the social sciences that children raised with broken biological bonds from death, divorce or desertion don’t do as well, on average, as those raised by married biological parents. It is consistent to predict the same outcome, on average, when deliberately breaking those biological bonds to satisfy the desire of married homosexuals by providing them children.
Landmark research has confirmed that children do best with a mum and dad. Sure there are some bad examples of parents out there, but they are exceptions, not the rule.
A large and growing body of scientific evidence indicates that the intact, married family is best for children. In particular, the work of scholars David Popenoe, Linda Waite, Maggie Gallagher, Sara McLanahan, David Blankenhorn, Paul Amato, and Alan Booth has contributed to this conclusion.
This statement from Sara McLanahan (right), a sociologist at Princeton University, is indicative.
And gold standard research confirms that children raised in a natural heterosexual marriage outperform all other children not raised in that environment. Research has also uncovered that children raised by same-sex parents have many many emotional and psychological issues to contend with.
“If we were asked to design a system for making sure that children’s basic needs were met, we would probably come up with something quite similar to the two-parent ideal. Such a design, in theory, would not only ensure that children had access to the time and money of two adults, it also would provide a system of checks and balances that promoted quality parenting. The fact that both parents have a biological connection to the child would increase the likelihood that the parents would identify with the child and be willing to sacrifice for that child, and it would reduce the likelihood that either parent would abuse the child.” – Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur, Growing Up with a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps (Boston: Harvard University Press, 1994) 38.
NATIONAL LONGITUDINAL STUDY OF ADOLESCENT HEALTH
This study analysed data based on one of the most exhaustive, and expensive, ongoing government survey research efforts to date. In the “fourth wave” of evaluating the same students over a period of two decades, 20 children with same-sex parents were identified out of over 12,000.
National Health Interview Study
DR. PAUL SULLINS PH.D
This is the largest and most comprehensive study to date which began with 1.6 million cases and yielded 512 same-sex parent families – destroys any fantasy that children with same-sex parents fare “no different” than children raised in the home of their married mother and father.
A Review and Critique of Research on Same-Sex Parenting and Adoption
DR. WALTER R. SCHUMM PH.D
A study which reviews every study done on the subject of same-sex parenting. In short: the studies that show “no difference” often used poor methodology (non-random samples, parental (self) reporting vs. actual child outcomes, short duration, etc.) to reach their conclusions.
The consensus among sociologists is nearly unanimous — children raised in the low-conflict household of their married mother and father fare best. Experts know this, because after decades of research on marriage and family, we have a mountain of data to support it. Indeed, whenever social scientist are not studying same-sex parenting, they agree on three things:
- Gender matters. Men and women parent in complementary ways, bringing distinct benefits to their children. When one gender is missing, particularly fathers, we see almost predictable patterns arising in children, specifically early sexual behaviour among girls and problems with the law for boys.
- Biology matters. We know from decades of research on the impact of divorce and co-habitation, that biological parents to tend to be the safest, most invested and most permanent in a child’s life. In contrast, non-biological caregivers tend to be more transitory, invest less time/resources, and be more dangerous to children living under their care.
- It is widely acknowledged within the psychological community that children suffer trauma, and thus negative effects, when they lose one or both parents to divorce, abandonment (even if subsequently adopted), death, or third-party reproduction.
Given that every same-sex parented home will (by definition) be missing one gender’s influence, missing at least one biological parent, and thus the trauma that accompanies that loss, the claim of “no difference” merits serious skepticism.
Family structure is serious business and children are depending on us to advocate on their behalf. Vote NO for the postal plebiscite on same-sex marriage.